anticipation and delivery

Sometimes I miss being involved in theater. Both sides. On stage and behind the scenes. I loved rehearsals, opening night, closing night....and all the stuff I bitched about in between. Light walking, cue-to-cue, final dress rehearsals, two shows in one day....the day we got our costumes and got to wear them for a rehearsal (even though one year I ended up with the SHORTEST shorts out of all the cast of L'il Abner...I'm almost certain of it!). But every time I got on stage it was this thrilling, kind of sickening mix of fear and excitement. Excitement for the beginning of the show and the tingling energy you feel to get going...and the fear of opening my mouth and....nothing. No lines, no song, no words...just nothing.

I have been going through the same thing with my painting lately. Getting excited to start, I have a great idea in my head about how I want the finished painting to look...and then I get into the studio and get in front of the canvas and...

...gulp. Anxiety. But being brave is not marked by the absence of fear. It's feeling that fear and doing whatever it is (within reason) anyway. And so here is the painting so far....first layer of paper, self leveling gel and paint. It's from a photo I took on my trip to Victoria this past March. Beacon Hill Park...which also happens to be the park that Emily Carr used to love to run her dogs in. So there is a little piece of iconic Canadian history for you.

There is also a lovely little mixed media boat painting on the way from the pictures I took in Masset two summers ago. Painting trees and boats, enjoying a lovely cool summer breeze coming in from the open window of the studio, listening to the Rankins greatest hits and counting down the days until BC and NL.

I feel so much better now that this painting is underway. Besides...really, if I hated the way it looked at this stage (which I don't)...it's paint and can be painted over. Hope you are able to overcome whatever is blocking you in your various creative endeavors today.

Happy Wednesday.